IMO, the term "vicarious violence" is a calque at best and perhaps would be best explained with the use of a TN's note, i.e. a type of gender-based violence by proxy aimed at at harming a partner by using children as pawns.

The Spanish press are referring to it as violencia vicaria, a type of gender violence by proxy which is aimed at harming a partner where it hurts most – by inflicting damage on their children.

https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violencia_vicaria
La violencia vicaria (a veces denominada violencia por sustitución)​ es un neologismo aplicado en el ámbito de la violencia de género que denomina a una forma de violencia por interpósita persona por la que un progenitor ataca a una hija o un hijo con el objetivo de causar dolor a la madre.
La violencia vicaria se ha definido como un tipo de violencia ejercida por un progenitor maltratador como instrumento para causar daño a una madre utilizando a sus hijos e incluso a los descendientes en común, que puede llegar, en casos extremos, a terminar con la vida de estos.1​8​9​10​ Normalmente se ejerce sobre menores de edad,​ pero también puede llevarse a cabo sobre cualquier otro bien o sujeto que sea apreciado por la mujer maltratada.

June 13, 2021 - the jfa human rights journal https://www.thejfa.com/hrn/june-13-2021
The news shocked the country and exposed one of the worst types of gender-based violence in Spain; what the press has named ‘violencia vicaria’ or ‘vicarious violence’. This is a kind of gender-based violence by proxy where abusers hurt their children in order to hurt their partners or ex-partners. Since 2013, 39 children have been murdered by their biological fathers in Spain.


Girl found dead in Spain: why do some speak of "vicarious violence ...https://newsrnd.com/news/2021-06-20-girl-found-dead-in-spain...
violencia vicaria. ” (vicarious violence). A term taken up and even integrated into the State Pact against gender violence signed in Spain in 2017.

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Note added at 3 hrs (2022-06-27 01:24:32 GMT)
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According to the U.N. definition: "Gender-Based violence refers to harmful acts directed at an individual based on their gender. It is rooted in gender inequality, the abuse of power and harmful norms. Gender-based violence (GBV) is a serious violation of human rights and a life-threatening health and protection issue." IMO, it is simply NOT any kind of "abuse" which is an oversimplification.

What are the 4 types of gender violence?
physical violence. verbal violence (including hate speech) psychological violence. sexual violence.


What is gender-based violence? | European Commission https://ec.europa.eu/info/policies/justice-and-fundamental-r...
Gender-based violence is violence mainly committed towards women and girls, including rape, harassment, and female genital mutilation.

Note: However, men do experience gender-based violence too!

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Note added at 14 hrs (2022-06-27 12:33:39 GMT)
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More: (Relative to Spain):
Vicarious violence … when men kill their own children simply to hurt women
11 JUNE 2021
Spain has a new type of crime, sadly only in terms of its nomenclature. Pedro Sánchez, Spanish PM, gave it the name … no longer Violencia Machista, Male Violence (against females) itself effectively a renaming of Violencia de Genero (gender violence) because it is routinely men who assault women and, in terms of fatal assaults, it’s virtually 100%. Now, however, we also have Violencia Vicaria, vicarious violence … a form of Violencia Machista where the children are hurt to hurt the mother. This must not be Olivia’s legacy but it must be one component of the way women can reclaim from men their right to life, and the life of their children.

As Sánchez said only today, Spain is living yet another black day through this sort of violence. Not only the discovery of Olivia’s body but another woman, Rocío, killed by her male partner. She was 17 years old, from the Seville area, and was murdered by her “ex-boyfriend” who presumably didn’t like the fact that she had a mind with which to reject him, something she clearly did for very good reason but tragic result as he has now confessed. https://www.janetanscombe.com/news/vicarious-violence-when-m...

Spanish law: https://www.boe.es/diario_boe/txt.php?id=BOE-A-2018-11883#:~...

n) La violencia vicaria es la ejercida sobre los hijos e hijas, así como sobre las personas contempladas en las letras c y d del artículo 1 bis, que incluye toda conducta ejercida por el agresor que sea utilizada como instrumento para dañar a la mujer.

ñ) La violencia que se ejerce a través de medios de comunicación o publicidad, que fomente o incentive la discriminación por razón de sexo o utilice la imagen de la mujer con carácter vejatorio o discriminatorio o incorporando mensajes que la promuevan.

o) Cualquier otra forma de violencia contra las mujeres que lesione o sea susceptible de lesionar la dignidad, la integridad o la libertad de las víctimas comprendidas en el objeto y ámbito de aplicación de la presente Ley.»